ATC: February 16, 2012

2012-02-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

"Never the rose, Without the prick
But tell me how do I say?, I woke up and it was yesterday.
Do I again face this night?"
- Guiding Light by Television

I love this photo. It looks like my sister-in-law is a caterpiller, wrapped up and deciding whether or not to join the world of butterflies. In reality, she was just watching Project Runway, but I feel like how this picture looks a lot of days. Living is hard, especially when you are going through growth stages.

And while this growing never stops, some days it stops you. It makes you stop directly where you are and forces you to choose. It causes you to mourn. You feel up. You feel down. And then just as suddenly as all these emotions came, they leave. You look behind you at the wreckage and you think "Oh, that wasn't really so bad.Why did I get so worked up?" Because growing and changing and emerging ready for something new is hard fucking work.

The last 2 years of my life have felt like this every single day. I look behind me at the wreckage some days and I shudder. Other days, I refuse to look. Piece by piece I take it in, do my best to gather myself and move forward. In the process I am learning I need to forgive others more easily and need I to start forgiving myself, something I rarely do.

In the meantime there is music. Helping us to explain better who we are to the world and giving us an audible hug when we feel un-huggable. Thanks music. You're always there for me.

TODAY'S PLAYLIST:

Oh! Sweet Nuthin'
The Velvet Underground

Guiding Light
Television

Everybody
Drive-By Truckers

Hummingbird
Wilco

Nothing But Our Love
Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.

Talk To Me
Peaches

As It Comes
Fran Healy

Me and Mr. Wolf
The Real Tuesday Weld

Devil Town
Tony Lucca

I Saw The Light
Hank Williams

My Tennessee Mountain Home
Dolly Parton

Love That Conquers
The Swell Season

Oh Happy Day
Nina Simone

Sixteen
The Heavy

ATC: February 9, 2012

2012-02-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

"Can't give up acting tough. It's all I'm made of" - Neko Case, Middle Cyclone

Today I am excited to feature some work by students. I have been lucky to connect with Ian Mouser at My Voice Music. He works with kids to teach them music and how to use it to resolve conflict in their life. Lovely stuff.

I also am including 2 poems created by students in the Caldera program. It is good to remember what it is like to be in middle school, to be in the process of growing. Remember how you thought it would never end? You were right. What you didn't realize is that you eventually figure out how to feel comfortable in clothes, what music you really, really like and how to take a good photo of yourself in the mirror. You eventually began to realize that everyone feels the same way you do, it just might happen on a different day.

Being able to share this student work has allowed me to reflect on what I love about teaching kids ART. It is being able to experience what they create. It becomes this blessing. This little look into how their hearts are growing and how truly complicated that process is. Your heart gets big. It gets hurt. It gets small. It gets big again. Scars begin to form- some you love and some you are shamed by. And while what you feel might be temporary the effect of those feelings is not. You will always base the next love by the previous. Good or bad. (And by the way, you deserve good).

Your heart will never leave you. It is permanent. You have the power to decide how your heart pumps the passion and love that naturally form within it out to the world. Protect it. But not so much you miss something, because those moments, when genius, light, love and passion form, are simply a temporary condition you must grab when you can.

PLAYLIST FOR TODAY'S SHOW:

Heartbreaker
Crazy P.

Don't Got A Lot Of Time
Cotton Jones

Today Is A New Day
My Voice Music

Three Little Birds
Bob Marley
(HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOB!)

You're My Lover Now
Pietra Brown

Middle Cyclone
Neko Case

Come Undone
Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan

Tumble Bee
Laura Veirs

Foot Stuming
The Oreganics

Running Mod
Young Generation

Jigsaw
Shawn Lee featuring Nicole Willis

About A Girl
Nirvana

Losing Myself
Brazillian Girls and David Byrne

When We all In
Shawn Hayes featuring Frazey Ford

Periodically Double or Triple
Yo La Tengo

I Was Made To Love Her
Stevie Wonder

the adventures of teafly

ATC: February 16, 2012

ATC: February 9, 2012