"Never the rose, Without the prickBut tell me how do I say?, I woke up and it was yesterday.
Do I again face this night?"
- Guiding Light by Television
I love this photo. It looks like my sister-in-law is a caterpiller, wrapped up and deciding whether or not to join the world of butterflies. In reality, she was just watching Project Runway, but I feel like how this picture looks a lot of days. Living is hard, especially when you are going through growth stages.
And while this growing never stops, some days it stops you. It makes you stop directly where you are and forces you to choose. It causes you to mourn. You feel up. You feel down. And then just as suddenly as all these emotions came, they leave. You look behind you at the wreckage and you think "Oh, that wasn't really so bad.Why did I get so worked up?" Because growing and changing and emerging ready for something new is hard fucking work.
The last 2 years of my life have felt like this every single day. I look behind me at the wreckage some days and I shudder. Other days, I refuse to look. Piece by piece I take it in, do my best to gather myself and move forward. In the process I am learning I need to forgive others more easily and need I to start forgiving myself, something I rarely do.
In the meantime there is music. Helping us to explain better who we are to the world and giving us an audible hug when we feel un-huggable. Thanks music. You're always there for me.
TODAY'S PLAYLIST:
Oh! Sweet Nuthin'
The Velvet Underground
Guiding Light
Television
Everybody
Drive-By Truckers
Hummingbird
Wilco
Nothing But Our Love
Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr.
Talk To Me
Peaches
As It Comes
Fran Healy
Me and Mr. Wolf
The Real Tuesday Weld
Devil Town
Tony Lucca
I Saw The Light
Hank Williams
My Tennessee Mountain Home
Dolly Parton
Love That Conquers
The Swell Season
Oh Happy Day
Nina Simone
Sixteen
The Heavy
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